Ki(n)d

I still remember how I dealt with matters, in the past. 
I am a chicken one. I can not deal with problems, I used to hide and let the others took care, or I'll just silent till everyone could accept for the way I am again. 
I still remember about being vocal, showing off to make others feel uneasy
But then when people wanted to repair the relationship, I bailed.
The old me, was never ever said sorry unless to my parents, cause I won't even care
I am a chicken, back then. 
Gladly that I change bit by bit. 
To say sorry is always easy for me, as well as forgiving. 
To me now, being kind is the most important thing,
whether society dislike it or not, let the universe decide for me.
I got nothing to lose. I feel like I got nothing to lose.
I decide to learn, to be able to have a lot of mercy. 
Though still, it will hurt me, it will leave a small scar, even my heart sometimes skip a beat, when people hurt you in a way you will never imagine. 
I get it now, that's what people do and did in order to survive. 
And I won't judge, but I still need time to understand tho. 
As for me, I will continue to spread my smile, my kindness. 
The kinder, or better you are as a person, the more people will want to misunderstand you or hurt you in some way. That's also okay. 
At the end of the day, I have so much win anyway. 

Just don't test me

You try to keep your emotion in check

sometimes, you clench your fist tight.

Because you know when you act up, it will get ugly

and many physical contact will involve

it will be unbearable, inconsolable for them

so, you put countless effort to ignore

But, they keep pressing you

don't blame her in the forthcoming

Greed

I got greedy all over again,
I demand to see you in every time today
The needs of making coincidences is really this high
Because,
for the next days I won't be able to see you
even to see a glimpse, a backside of your back
I can't even see you from the very far
I would like to take you for granted then
Just for today,
Yes, I am that greedy now

Speaking about greed,
At the very least, I have to be honest about my greed
I learn my lesson well.

Very Nice

You are way too nice,
until sometimes (often)
people took (an) advantage (s) of you

You get that a lot,
You are tired to hear any of it
(by the one that took the advantages)

It gets hard, you know

I feel really frustrated
What do I do now?

When it gets hard,
I think about you
Even you could never give me some courage

Every sad love song that I heard,
I keep seeing in you in my daydream

Every drama scene that brought me into tears,
I'll go cry even harder
Cause I keep holding on to you

I don't have any more power
to try
Try to forget about you

I felt that I should try even harder
Because, sometimes you strike into my life again
popped into my dreams
Then I had to re-view all the pain you caused

Is it pain or joy or anger, I couldn't tell

What should I do?
Ignore it, and this will go stronger.

Damn, man.

Far close, 59 minutes gap

They spent time at the same place
They even ate the same food
Then, stole each other spot, cleared their heads there
She talked to his friends, their friends. 

He probably did the same, after.

The different was, 

She came at 1, him at 12

She ate lunch at 2, him at 1

He cooled things down at 2, her at 3

He had the small talk at 3, her at 4

They will never met in the middle

That was the real definition of
"So close yet so far"

Easier

She grew up become a very "yes man" person because the only thing you know is to said no to others
She grew up become so ignorant because you chose to be so care to little things that aren't so important
She grew up to be someone that put everyone's needs above hers because you full of yourself and never considering the others
She grew up to be someone that believe in everything until people sometimes, maybe use that against her because you took everything, anything for granted

She grew up to be someone that can't hurt somebody even though she wanted to, because you shot people at their head

She grew up to be real silent about her feeling towards everyone because your mind speaks too loud, so is your lips

They grew up to be some spoiled little brats because you never let them man up and face their things

And, she realize, she grow up to trust anyone, everyone and always be positive because someone taught her to be negative and not to believe in anything

She learned her lesson well.
But, Sometimes you just want to blame somebody for your own damages. It's easier that way.